every 5 seconds a woman gives birth to a baby. stop this woman.
does anybody else legitimately worry about how they’re going to share a bed with their partner when they’re older? like buddy i need all the blankets to make a burrito and then i need to throw them off of me dramatically in the middle of the night and lie spread-eagled across the entire bed how is this going to work
The teacher said ‘hit the lights’ and this kid punched the light switch and broke it
The best super power ever has to be the power to refill things. Think about it, your glass is empty, refill it without getting up. Your bank account empty, power to refill it. Your bed is empty of a person of your preferred gender, refill it and have some fun.
At first I was all:
Well that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard.
But then I was all like:
GENIUS! PURE UNADULTERATED GENIUS!
person annoying you?
refill their bladder
if you are feeling rad don’t let anyone ever turn the r into an s